a creation i did for my deviantart collection
Trans Person living in London....... creative and artistic
24 Dec 2011
16 May 2011
windy in london..
its a nasty day, windy and cloudy but still no rain. my balcony needs rain coz am too lazy to water it lol
14 May 2011
ooooooooooooooops
oh dear i been so busy i forgot my dear old blog. well not much going on, waiting for the trial in july then hopefully that man will get a life sentence.
am keeping sane by creating art....
am keeping sane by creating art....
17 Oct 2010
Lambeth Council Housing3
the wall insulation lambeth have just done - its coming thru the walls into my flat. lambeth are so caring about how their tenants live....
Lambeth Council Housing
this is how i have been expected to live since 2001/2, the bathroom is a health hazard and now the new wall insulation has come thru into my flat
15 Oct 2010
9 Oct 2010
peace
i am trying to find some peace at the moment, trying to get on with living, am struggling but need so brightness and colour to lift my spirits
4 Oct 2010
monday 4th oct
i am still struggling to deal with events, am not coping well at all. my inner strength seems to have left me. life goes on, i know, and i have to try to find a job in the midst of this nightmare or risk loosing my state benefits. there is no compassion from the employment ppl, just pressure to find a job.
how can i look for a job or go for an interview when all i am doing is reliving my nightmare?
i am dreading the trial, and yet i know i have to do it-i have to try and find out WHY? why did he do this, why did he destroy me?
i am angry at myself for feeling like this, surely i should be strong and full of determination to fight back, i am not tho. i lay awake all night reliving that night, it just wont stop. a few minutes peace in the day then am back in that place again.
all these years i have longed for death so i can just have peace, i am too weak to kill myself, i dont even have the courage to do that.
all i can hope for is that it will finally give me closure.
how can i look for a job or go for an interview when all i am doing is reliving my nightmare?
i am dreading the trial, and yet i know i have to do it-i have to try and find out WHY? why did he do this, why did he destroy me?
i am angry at myself for feeling like this, surely i should be strong and full of determination to fight back, i am not tho. i lay awake all night reliving that night, it just wont stop. a few minutes peace in the day then am back in that place again.
all these years i have longed for death so i can just have peace, i am too weak to kill myself, i dont even have the courage to do that.
all i can hope for is that it will finally give me closure.
3 Oct 2010
2 Oct 2010
update to earlier post
i wrote about an incident earlier in which i was attacked in my flat 20 yrs ago. this week the police informed me they now have a suspect. i am devestated and its made me feel vulnerable and as if it happened yesterday.
i am trying to prepare myself for the court ordeal which is not going to be easy. this man ruined my life and destroyed me as a person, i have to go to court so i can get some closure. i have received some wonderful support from friends which is a great comfort. living alone has made it very hard to cope with, i have been curled on the floor shaking and sobbing. i know this will pass and i know i will survive.
there are some truly wicked and evil ppl in this world and it was my misfortune to cross paths with one.
i am calmer today, maybe due to the diazepan the doctor gave me, but also maybe coz i am over the initial shock. 20 yrs is a long time to wait for justice but i am hopeful that my time has finally come.
i am trying to prepare myself for the court ordeal which is not going to be easy. this man ruined my life and destroyed me as a person, i have to go to court so i can get some closure. i have received some wonderful support from friends which is a great comfort. living alone has made it very hard to cope with, i have been curled on the floor shaking and sobbing. i know this will pass and i know i will survive.
there are some truly wicked and evil ppl in this world and it was my misfortune to cross paths with one.
i am calmer today, maybe due to the diazepan the doctor gave me, but also maybe coz i am over the initial shock. 20 yrs is a long time to wait for justice but i am hopeful that my time has finally come.
19 Sept 2010
24 Aug 2010
God
ppl ask me why i dont believe in god or religion. well its simple, heres a few reasons why i dont.
first you have the catholic church, an institution riddled with sex offenders, its leader claims to be gods vicar on earth and yet refuses to allow condoms to be used to prevent the spread of HIV and other diseases. this same church has a huge fortune and yet rather than using it to help the poor of the world would rather take even more from these ppl. why does the pope need to live in such opulent palaces full of works of art? this religion, along with many others, claim to know the will of God and yet surely if there was a God would they tolerate abuse and prejudice? of course when i worked in a hospital i saw so much pain and suffering and death. the religious nurses told me it was Gods will, why? how can ppl dying from cancer be in Gods interest?
here in the uk we have our own church, another institution that lives in the past. why does it matter if women become bishops? why shouldnt gay ppl become priests? we are told that we are all created in Gods image, so if thats the case we should all have the chance to serve this God.
most of the main religions even seem to worship the same God tho with their own prophets or son of God. if there was a God then why are we allowed to continue killing innocent ppl with bombs? allowing ppl to starve and live in squalor?
so, i dont believe in this God or religion as theres no proof and just observing religious ppl and how they treat others is enough to convince me that i want nothing to do with this nonsense. being a humane person i do respect others views tho, of course that isnt reciprocated by many devout religious ppl.
first you have the catholic church, an institution riddled with sex offenders, its leader claims to be gods vicar on earth and yet refuses to allow condoms to be used to prevent the spread of HIV and other diseases. this same church has a huge fortune and yet rather than using it to help the poor of the world would rather take even more from these ppl. why does the pope need to live in such opulent palaces full of works of art? this religion, along with many others, claim to know the will of God and yet surely if there was a God would they tolerate abuse and prejudice? of course when i worked in a hospital i saw so much pain and suffering and death. the religious nurses told me it was Gods will, why? how can ppl dying from cancer be in Gods interest?
here in the uk we have our own church, another institution that lives in the past. why does it matter if women become bishops? why shouldnt gay ppl become priests? we are told that we are all created in Gods image, so if thats the case we should all have the chance to serve this God.
most of the main religions even seem to worship the same God tho with their own prophets or son of God. if there was a God then why are we allowed to continue killing innocent ppl with bombs? allowing ppl to starve and live in squalor?
so, i dont believe in this God or religion as theres no proof and just observing religious ppl and how they treat others is enough to convince me that i want nothing to do with this nonsense. being a humane person i do respect others views tho, of course that isnt reciprocated by many devout religious ppl.
21 Aug 2010
4 Aug 2010
9 Jul 2010
20 Jun 2010
18 Jun 2010
USA and Hypocrisy
why dont those self-righteous americans just shut up and instead of attacking BP why dont the americans help sort it out? what a dreadful and shameful sight watching these ppl whinge and moan and blame others instead of acting like adults. of course its a tragedy whats happening but america claims its a super power, well damn well act like one! leave BP alone, tell the politicians in washington to grow up and focus on whats really important.
of course seeing as they are so money obsessed anyway all their eyes must be lighting up at the thought of juicy payouts. seeing on the news morons holding placards saying BP kills is really a joke, and this in the top government dept. i tell you what does kill and that is american arrogance so stop acting like a school bully coz ppl are really getting fed up with it
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)